Man Building

Sly is 12. On the one hand, he's still a boy, but on the other hand, he's in the process of becoming a man (or at least he should be!). We've decided to step outside of the 'school box' for a while and take a somewhat different approach, or at least a different emphasis with regards to his homeschooling. In the past, a lot of what has gone on here has been Mom (me) calling the shots, formulating the plans (or using someone else's plan, called a 'curriculum,' working hard to keep everyone else on track and on task. I spent a lot of the day making sure Sly did math, and reading, and history, and science, and this, and that, and the other. Well, we've decided it worked: The boy can read, and he can write, and he can do math, and he has a bit of a clue about how the world works (both scientifically and historically). Could he stand to improve some more in each of those areas? Sure, but who couldn't? It's time to work less on skill-building and more on what I'm calling "Man Building."

Habeeb and I are in the process of making a few major changes to help with our 'Man Building' project. For starters, we're actually dropping a lot of mom-created (or curriculum-seller created) school work. I have a wonderful curriculum sitting there on a shelf, about 1/4 finished, but we're essentially dropping it. Maybe we'll go back to the books someday because we want to read them, but I'm not going to police Sly to read them just because someone else (or even I) scheduled them into some curriculum. Mom playing the role of get-your-school-done-policeman at this point is not "Man Building," it's just nagging and stressful for everyone involved, and quite honestly unnecessary. As I said, Sly CAN read, write, do math, and has enough of a clue to be able to find out more about what he discovers he wants or needs to know more about (even if that simply means asking someone else for help in finding it out). So enough of pre-planned and policed curriculum for the sake of the curriculum. Our priority isn't to do the curriculum but to grow a man. To the extent that curriculum assists in that pursuit, fine. But when curriculum begins to stand in the way of that pursuit, it's time to sacrifice the curriculum, not the student.

So, our emphasis here is changing from Mom policing Sly to "finish your work" and switching to emphasizing Sly's role to Begin (without Policeman Mom reminding or nagging him to start, stay on task, and finish). "Begin what?" you may ask, since we're dropping the curriculum. Well, we're only MOSTLY dropping it. We ARE still keeping a few things, as we as a family feel they support our Man Building situation at this time. Sly still has to practice his guitar (or mom and dad quit paying for lessons). Sly himself wants to learn computer programming, so that's on his to-do list as well. He had started algebra with a co-op a few weeks ago, but we dropped the co-op because the pace was very aggressive (too much too fast to allow internalization and transfer into Sly's long term memory and way too much homework--we were getting NOTHING else done, and that's just not a balanced way to live life). However, other than the co-op pace, Sly was enjoying Life of Fred algebra in general. Therefore, he will still do algebra at home (but at a pace where he's really learning it instead of merely cramming it). These three 'subjects' (guitar, computer programming, and LoF algebra) are all Sly-chosen courses of study.

Habeeb and I have also thrown in a couple academicky requirements. We suggested that Sly continue studying Sonlight 5 science, which includes human physiology, anatomy, etc (handy things to know when you're a boy becoming a man). And, of course, some kind of Bible study: For what does it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and yet lose his own soul? The hugest part of being a real man is knowing that you are a man, created in the image of God, but NOT God; Fallen, and in need of saving, but that you can't save yourself; a sinner, who deserves no mercy, and yet is so loved and valued by his Creator that He sent His own Son to pay the price of saving you when you couldn't. If you don't own that bit of knowledge, or if that bit of knowledge doesn't own you, nothing else matters. And so, Bible study (and prayer), both individually and corporately as a family, will be part of the Man Building project (perhaps I should say it will be the CORE of the Man Building project!).

We're also making a couple of 'structural changes.' Habeeb and Sly are dropping karate on Tuesday & Thursday nights. The Cost Benefit Analysis says that we/they can do better things with that time. (Don't get us wrong: Karate can be a good thing! Our old dojo in a different state was fantastic, and definitely contributed to Man Building (or Woman Building), both physically and spiritually. But that just isn't the case with the dojo's around here, including the one we've been attending for the last year, which was the best we could find. It's time to move on. We may resume karate again when we move to a new place if we can find a GOOD dojo that edifies instead of just sort of, well, being a place to spend time and money).

Habeeb and Sly are replacing karate nights with 'shop night.' Together, they are going to work on building things (or fixing things when necessary, such as tonight's project--try to fix the broken clothes dryer). Not only will Sly learn some valuable skills (woodworking, craftsmanship, problem solving, read the instructions, research to FIND the instructions online, etc), but he'll also learn fabulous people skills (teamwork, delegation, collaboration, responsibility, follow through, etc). Perhaps above all else, it'll be a great opportunity for Habeeb and Sly to work together on meaningful projects, growing not only a man (Sly), but also growing their relationship. In karate, they were both studying the same material, but they were essentially separate individuals under the direction of another instructor. With shop nite, they will be a team, working together, learning both how to lead and how to follow. Plus, some neat and useful projects may get done around the house (like you'll see in the next post!)

Continuing on the team-building theme, Sly has decided to join Civil Air Patrol as a cadet. We'll learn more as we go along, but that will certainly generate some team and man building opportunities, and ought to be a lot of fun along the way, with the added benefit of being 'for real' (they really DO go out and search for downed aircraft or lost persons that need rescue or help in other emergencies, such as flying over cities hit by tornados taking photos to help determine needs and services). We'll see how that goes. He's gonna have to cut his hair off, though!

So, here's the 'what' that Sly will be working on (mostly his choosing, plus a couple mom and dad threw in): guitar, algebra, computer programming, human physiology, Bible, shop night, and Civil Air Patrol, plus, of course, his lawn business. That's plenty full enough without generating additional work assignments for the sake of curriculum! Especially when you consider he gets lots of "extra curricular" conversation about world and national current events and politics in this house, with applicable impromptu history lessons thrown where he lacks pertinent background info. It's a learning house by nature. We don't need to artificially create work, and then police that work for the sake of that artificially created work! Enough aleady! It's time to build a Man, not a Drone!

Now for the "how." Our goal is for Sly to increasingly think for himself, including organizing his to-do list (considering requirements like 'clean the cat box' and desires like 'read Calvin and Hobbes') and police himself to get started (as opposed to mom policing him to get started). Right now, it's more about Getting started" than "getting finished." But, this post has gotten long enough already. We'll save that chatter for another post later.