Intersubjectivity and pill bottles

Several of my cyberfriends have written some fantastic posts on the concept of Intersubjectivity. Rather than reproduce their awesome work, check out these posts by Tammy, Niffercoo, Penny, and Kathy. For a very quick synopsis, I’ll just say that each person has a Subjective or personal view of something, and when we share our personal subjective views with each other (influencing our own and each other’s views as a result), that is called INTERsubjectivity.

For a quick word picture, intersubjectivity like an INTERstate: Interstates are roads that connect different states, making travel possible across state boundaries, vs an INTRAstate which would be entirely contained within the boundaries of one state, precluding travel across state lines. Similarly, Intersubjectivity allows for the sharing of personal subjective perspectives and experiences between multiple people, whereas intrasubjectivity (is there such a word? Hmmm.) would be keeping your perspective to yourself and NOT connecting or transmitting that idea to or with others (such as not commenting on my post). Clear as mud, right? Read my friends’ posts—they explain it better than I do!

What I really wanted to do was to share with you an example of the highly sophisticated Intersubjective development of a typical 19 month old—you guessed it—SB3. Yesterday afternoon, he had moved a chair over to the kitchen counter and was busy stacking pill and vitamin bottles (who said you need to spend money on blocks? Haha!). SB3 stacked them four bottles high, which was about as high as he could possibly reach. Then he turned and smiled at me, sharing with me his personal subjective thoughts—that he was proud of his good work--and checking out mine, making sure that I was as aware and proud of his accomplishment as he himself was (thus, he was being intersubjective).

Just a few minutes later, Habeeb got home from work. SB3 was still playing with the bottles. They’d fallen over and he was restacking them. He stopped to acknowledge Habeeb’s arrival, but then went right back to his very important work. In a few seconds he had his stack finished, and then the beautiful intersubjective dance began again.

First SB3 turned from his finished stack to smile with great pride at Habeeb, who was likewise enthralled with the architecture. Then, even though Habeeb was ‘with’ SB3 in the dance, SB3 quickly pointed at his stack of bottles as well, furthering highlighting his pride and joy. Then SB3 turned and looked at me again as well, still grinning from ear to ear and with a happy little chuckle to further highlight his great satisfaction and pride, making sure that I was in on the experience too, sharing his perspective and checking out mine (which he found matched his quite well—the proud momma and the proud boy!). I of course already knew that he was a good pill bottle stacker from moments before, but now SB3 wanted to share with me that daddy now knew it too, and that made it even bigger and better than before! SB3, even at just 19 months old, is already becoming a master of Intersubjectivity!

For some reason (or reasons), that development of Intersubjectivity breaks down somewhere early along the way for our kids on the autism spectrum. In fact, it’s more that lack of intersubjectivity that is “autism” instead of a set of specific and commonly listed behaviors (such as lack of eye contact or lining things up or having very short attention spans, all of which are behaviors common in autism, but far from universal in autism, whereas a lack of intersubjectivity is universal and is the contributing factor to all the varied behavioral symptoms, whether there is 'eye contact' or not).

The good news is that even though Intersubjectivity breaks down or fails to develop in the first place in autism, it IS repairable and can then continue to develop to higher levels and complexities, just as the brain continues to grow and develop throughout our lives. Approaches like RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) focus on helping the parents create opportunities for reestablishing the development of Intersubjectivity through repairing and working through the Guided Participation Relationship.

Most often that begins with re-establishing the first level of Intersubjectivity, a simple me-and-you-together or a we-go (as opposed to an ego), such as is seen in a first game of peek-a-boo with an infant just a few months old. By about a year old, infants have progressed to the second level of Intersubjectivity, often referred to as the beginnings of “joint attention,” where the child and the adult can both share their reactions with each other about some third and ‘outside’ object or event, such as the child pointing at a plane passing overhead to make sure mom sees it too. The child is aware that what he sees isn’t necessarily what mom sees, and that mom’s subjective perspective (whether she likes something or doesn’t) may not be the same as his own. Notice, the key is that both parties are sharing with each other their own personal subjective experiences and perspectives. A child with autism can be taught to point at something, or to look at something someone else points at, but that does NOT mean that the child is aware of and considering the other person's personal subjective perspective or feelings about the object pointed at. Following a point is a skill. Sharing perspectives the key to Intersubjectivity.

In SB3’s case, he was clearly demonstrating age appropriate levels of Intersubjectivity, making every effort to share his perspectives and experiences with us, making sure we understood where he was coming from, and making sure our personal perspectives and experiences made sense to him as well (for example, we could have been proud of his success, or angry that he was up at the counter again, or worried that he was playing with pill bottles—many possible reactions, any of which he could have understood, even if he didn’t agree with them himself—it just so happened we were proud and impressed with his towering building project too).

Now, if anyone would like to share their own personal intersubjective perspective with me and other readers of the blog, please leave a comment!

Jman's Words, update 1--obstacles

I know it's been a LONG time since I posted anything about Jman and his ProLoQuo2Go. Oh well--such is life!

But it's time for an update of sorts. What with the holidays and some family and health issues, I have not created sufficient opportunity to work very intentionally with Jman on using the P2G. But that does not mean that he has not been using it, and even teaching himself some new language from it, and also developing some 'obstacles' to using the iPod/ProLoQuo2Go as well. I'll try to touch on some of all the obstacles here, and some of his progress in another post. Warning: This is long and wordy!

First, Jman LOVES messing around with "bird" or "Jman's Words." "Bird" because the ProLoQuo2Go icon is an owl. "Jman's Words" because he has HIS iPod and I have MINE, "Mom's Words." Jman would greatly prefer to have "Mom's Words" because "Mom's Words" still has access to the internet and therefore to not only the web browser but also YouTube. He has become a total YouTube junkie. Unfortunately, there are not any good parental controls on the iPod for blocking inappropriate YouTube videos, and there are so many lovely people out there taking kid's favorite characters and movies (such as Thomas or Wall-E) and creating some very NOT kid-friendly videos. We certainly don't want Jman running around echoing some of the lines he hears from some of the Thomas and Wall-E youtube videos he manages to find! Not to mention the fact that too much of even the 'good' videos mess with his brain anyway.

So, we have the two iPods--one WITH internet access and one WITHOUT.

But I must say, that's not entirely accurate. Jman's iPod still DOES have internet/wifi, and Safari, and YouTube. What he does NOT have is the Key Code for logging on to the secure wifi at home. We found that when we restricted the apps for Safari or YouTube, Jman would completely freak out. He KNEW the buttons were supposed to be there. And of course every iPod case/accessory out there shows the icons for Safari and YouTube as well, resulting in him wanting to purchase every case, in the hopes that the buttons on the stickers would work. Sometimes it was funny, and other times it was annoying! So, we decided to leave Safari and YouTube ON his iPod AND leave the wifi turned ON as well, BUT Jman doesn’t have the Key Code to be able to log on to the secure wifi at home. Thus, he doesn’t have internet access at home on HIS iPod, but doesn’t melt down at the missing buttons on his iPod. Instead, he asks me to connect him to the wifi, OR he tries to steal MY iPod from my pocket. Now THAT gets really annoying! But it’s the ‘happy medium’ we have at the moment.

There is one more aspect to the “Jman’s Words” vs “Mom’s Words” issue. Jman HAS figured out how to spy on me when I log on to my iPod with the 4 digit passcode. Then when/if he is able to get his hands on my iPod, he logs himself on and has his beloved YouTube. So, I’m now having to cycle through a series of pass codes, trying to stay one step ahead of him. Again, it’s annoying, but on the other hand, I’m kind of proud of him figuring out how to be that sneaky and successfully pulling it off (more than once, no less!).

Well, aside from the general iPod/YouTube/Safari obstacles, we also have Jman using his iPod to listen to music. At first we put on some Jman favorites, but they quickly became stimmy obstacles interfering with not only communication and interaction, but also LIFE. So, we removed some of the ‘cool’ albums we had initially installed on there, including Garfield (the comic) and Bugs On Broadway (as in Looney Tunes). We also never put any of his VeggieTales albums on there, OR any of the Sing The Word albums from Sonlight Curriculum (Bible verses set to song, which he has stimmed on for years). Instead we put only instrumental music on his iPod, so he couldn’t stim on the lyrics like he’d been doing. He has a definite favorite with, of course, “Linus and Lucy” (as in The Peanuts/Charlie Brown) as performed by George Winston (solo piano). The album is fabulous, and he listens to IT over and over again, with a couple favorite songs in particular. But being just music instead of lyrics, it really does fade into the background most of the time and doesn’t interfere with his ability to communicate or engage with us, even while his music is on (most of the time).

About a week ago, though, Jman did something totally new: He sat down at the piano, with his iPod playing the end of a particular favorite Charlie Brown song, and tried to imitate what he was hearing on the piano! Was he successful? Well, not exactly. He was successful enough that we could clearly recognize what he was TRYING to do, even though he wasn’t exactly pulling it off.

Also particularly interesting were the facts that, 1) He didn’t ONLY try to imitate the part he was listening too. He also played around on the keyboard in general, alternating between trying to learn the passage he wanted to imitate and just exploring the piano in general; and 2) he did NOT freak out when Habeeb was recording him on video at one point (though he did later delete the video and we haven’t been able to recover it yet! Darn!).

One other aspect about the music on the iPod before I move on. We later added an album that includes acapella vocals (only voices, no musical instruments) with some fabulous harmonies. Jman has spent a lot of time ‘studying’ this music, listening to it intently. He seems fascinated by the complex vocal harmonies he hears. Kind of funny—we’ve given him albums with NO vocals and albums with ONLY vocals, but the albums with both instruments and vocals create huge stimmy obstacles. There’s got to be something profound about that observation with regards to auditory processing or something, but I don’t know what it is exactly.  In any case, the music has become not so much of an obstacle with his current selections, and yet he still enjoys listening.


The next obstacles revolve more around ProLoQuo2Go in specific rather than the iPod in general. First is the fact that when Jman is really upset about something (such as YouTube not working sometimes), he will express his displeasure by deleting ProLoQuo2Go. I know I’ve mentioned that before. I still wish there was a way to prevent him from deleting that app. He goes through phases of that, not deleting it for a couple weeks, and then deleting it 4 times in a single day. Sometimes he’ll be upset (with me, because I won’t log him on to YouTube, or whatever he’s upset about at the time), he’ll delete ProLoQuo2Go , and then immediately hand me the iPod and say, “Oh No! Where’s Bird?!?” When he does THAT, I’ll usually say, “Bird’s GONE. All done!” and NOT reinstall it right away. At that point, he’s wordless/birdless until I decide to go ahead and reinstall for him, which may not be until the next day or later, it just depends. Such is life. When he’s being THAT deliberate, there are consequences, and Mom not fixing it right away is certainly one very natural consequence!

At other times, Jman will just be stimming with the buttons on P2G. For example, he’ll have it say a single word over and over and over again just because he thinks it sounds hysterically funny. Sly thought he’d broken the iPod, but Jman just had it saying “our” about 75 times in a row, just to hear the funny sound. Jman will also push every button in a category just to hear the iPod say the words, sometimes several times in a row. Even funnier, Jman has of course memorized the sequences and will say them himself just for fun sometimes.

Now, I know what many folks out there must be thinking—“That’s SO bad! That’s so not constructive! You shouldn’t let him do that! He should be using this for functional communication, not for stimming! Stimming, after all, is BAD! You’ve even been talking about stopping bad stims in this very post! Why would you let him DO that?????”

Well, because he’s learning from it. Seriously. Yeah, he’s playing, and stimming, and not being ‘functional’ or ‘communicative’ when he does that. But on the other hand, show me the child learning language that doesn’t play around with sounds and words, stringing silly stuff together and driving those around him absolutely batty when they keep saying the same thing over and over again! Jman is doing something kind of like that. Yes, it’s annoying. Yes, sometimes I DO stop him, because I simply don’t want to hear it anymore. But, for the most part, he’s actually organizing some of these words in his head, and surprisingly enough they’ll pop up in real ‘functional’ communication later on. But that’s getting into the next post. I’m still talking about obstacles.

Another Jman P2G obstacle is when he edits the vocabulary installed on his iPod. He does this regularly. Sometimes it’s just playing, sometimes stimming, and sometimes it creates problems, like when he deletes categories and wants them fixed back again. It’s a minor obstacle. Usually I can restore to a previous backup on his iPod, but sometimes I have to hook up to the wifi and actually reinstall a ‘master’ backup of vocabulary for him. The main problems with that are 1) the general inconvenience, and 2) if I forget to have his iPod ‘forget’ the Key Code for the wifi, he then disappears with his iPod for extended periods and inhales YouTube videos until I find him and get him offline again. What a stinker!

Well, I expect I’ve bored you to tears with some of our iPod and ProLoQuo2Go obstacles. I could sit here and think of others, but these are the biggies, though there IS one more that must be shared: Jman broke the screen (glass) on his first iPod somehow (probably when he was frustrated at not having YouTube!). Fortunately, when we bought his iPod, we bought with it a 2 year replacement contract, including replacement due to accidental damage for whatever reason (such as autistic boys breaking the glass, for example). So, we sent it back for the full refund and then ordered him a new iPod. And yes, we bought the replacement contract for the new iPod as well! Hopefully, though, this 2nd iPod will last longer than his first!

Snow Day!

A week ago last Friday, it SNOWED! That's worthy of resuming the blog! (Yeah, it still took me this long to convert and upload a video, and the video sucks, but hey, it's a start. And btw, I HATE blogger!)

Same but Different

Folks on the autism spectrum have difficulty with changes. Because they are not very good at reading other people's perspectives or intentions, they are at a great disadvantage at dealing with differences or changes when they happen. Most of us will look around to see what others are doing, make a judgement call on why they may be doing that, and will tend to adjust our own behavior and thoughts accordingly, perhaps match what others are doing so as to blend in or maybe occasionally to go against the flow intentionally. But folks on the spectrum don't read others well, and thus don't have that extra info to help them process changes or challenges very well and adjust their actions and thoughts in relation to what others are doing or thinking. As a result, they will usually find one way of doing something, and do it that same way every time, regardless of what everyone else is doing or thinking because they aren't really understanding what everyone else is doing or thinking in the first place, or why. It's safer and more predictable to just do things the same way over and over. That's one of those processing differences for folks on the spectrum that lead to repetitive behaviors such as little kids lining up toy cars instead of playing out various games or scenarios with them.

Thus, I found it especially interesting last night when Jman began communicating to me about wanting some popcorn. Up until now, when using the ProLoQuo2Go, he has punched in a sequence in which he uses a short cut button for the phrase "I want" which takes him to a new page with choices such as a button for "to use the computer" or a category button for "something to eat," which in turn takes him to the "Foods and Drinks" page.

However, last night, Jman did it differently. First, he navigated to "Word Spaces," which includes categories for "Actions" (verbs), "I, You, They, plus" (pronouns), "Describers" (adjectives), etc--basically all the words accessible through their various grammatical parts of speech rather than group by topic (food, clothing, etc).

Jman then selected "I" from the pronouns section. I watched as he began searching for another word, first in Actions, then Describers, then Linkers (conjunctions), then back to Actions. I interrupted him and asked him, "What are you looking for?" He kept browsing, but said (just like P2G says it, of course), "want." So, his first inclination was right--it WAS in Actions, but he just missed it when he looked. I scrolled down with him and pointed it out, and he quickly punched in "want." Then he navigated his way back to the home page and through categories to foods and drinks, where he began searching through Desserts. I figured he was looking for popcorn, and offered that that would be under Snacks, not Desert. He quickly took that advice, jumped over to snacks, and plugged in "popcorn." Thus, he had his complete messgage: "I want popcorn."

Now, there's nothing new about Jman wanting popcorn. What is new is that he found a new way to put the sentence together, finding each word individually instead of relying on cheater buttons. It's also the first time he's ever used a pronoun as an individual word instead of part of a rote phrase. There have been a few times when I was messaging something to him that I have used the pronouns section with him looking on, but only because that was what I needed at the time, rather than having in mind a direct teaching of pronouns. It was also new for him to use a word from the Actions category as well. All together, Jman, despite his autism and despite having one way that works for asking for popcorn, created a different way to ask for the same thing last night, purely for the fun and challenge of doing it differently! That is AWESOME! (Note, I'm tilting my head back and to the left, with a huge smile and two thumbs up, just like the symbolstix icon for 'awesome' on P2G--Jman imitates the poses of the stick figures, and the 'awesome' pose is becoming a family favorite!)

But wait--there's more!

After Jman told me "I want popcorn" the new and different (but still the same words) way, he took his 'same but different' one step further. He cleared out the first message and punched in the sentence starter button for "Let's." Then he punched in the Actions button for "eat." Then he jumped back over to Snacks where he again selected "popcorn." His new same-but-different message: "Let's eat popcorn." That's when it REALLY struck me and reconfirmed that Jman was actually playing with language and finding different ways to get across the same meaning or thought. He wasn't falling back on just the same one rote expression that he always used in the past, "I want popcorn." He wasn't relying on one way of saying that expression via ProLoQuo2Go either, using the starter phrase button "I want." No, Jman was branching out into new territory, discovering adn sharing that there's 'more than one way to skin a cat,' and best of all, he was making that discovering on his own because HE wanted to, and not because someone else was drilling yet another rule into his head.

Last night really got me to considering how the ProLoQuo2Go is helping him to break language up into component words that can be rearranged and reorganized rather than as longer units of stock phrases. When you simply hear someone talking, it's hard to know sometimes where the 'breaks' are, particularly when you have difficulty with the language being spoken (which can be the case for your 'first language' if you have language processing issues or auditory processing issues). When things are written, it's easier to see the breaks in words because there are spaces between words, and other punctuation between sentences and phrases. But with ProLoQuo2Go, there's the added advantage of 'context' associated with the written word, because the little pictures with each word convey additional information that abstract letters of course lack. By fooling around with ProLoQuo2Go (or 'babbling' with it, as I term it), Jman is discovering 'words,' and he's discovering how to put them together to communicate thoughts, and that there's more than one way set of words or one arrangement that you can use to express the same thought. He's got the sound, the letters, the pictures, the organization/categorization of the spaces, and the physical motion of moving through the pages all working together for him to turn his brain on to communication and to make his own effective discoveries about 'same but different.' That is just AMAZING.

bizarro world at the barber shop

Today a bizarre thing happened. Habeeb and Sly were getting their military reg haircuts on base after we all ate lunch. When they were finishing up, Jman walked into the barbershop. He then climbed up into the barber's chair that Habeeb had just vacated. Then he tried to put on the barber's smock, and I helped him snap it in the back. We were all BAFFLED. This kid does NOT do haircuts, and especially not in a hair cutting place! I asked Jman if he wanted a haircut, including programming it into his ProLoQuo2Go, and he said yes. ????!!!!???? The problem was he still had his 'ears' on, and didn't really want to take them off (it'd be awfully hard to cut his hair with hearing protection on!).

Someone else came in for a haircut, and the lady barber, who was being AWESOME with letting Jman do his thing (what a rare and special treat to find someone so good!), asked Jman to move over to the next chair. It took him a couple times of hearing to understand, and then he moved on over. Into another barber's chair. Still amazing.

After another go at taking his 'ears' off, Jman decided to get up and move on out. Habeeb and Sly were done and ready to go. They started to head up the corrider to leave the building, but Jman decided to go back in. He sat down in the 2nd chair again, and put the smock back on. I asked again if he wanted a hair cut, and he said yes. Still not believing it, I pulled the leatherman micra out of my pocket and opened up the scissors. I gave his bangs a few snips, and he was liking it. ???!!!???

Then the lady barber (who was so awesome) suggested we let Jman hold her clippers with them turned on. Like I said, she was awesome! She was completely naturally tuned in to supporting Jman, allowing him freedom, increasing the opportunities for him to learn just enough without challenging him to 'behave' and without overwhelming him. What a rare and special gem!

So, anyway, Jman didn't want to hold the clippers. He wanted me to cut his hair with them. He tried to get me to cut higher toward the top of his head, but that would have been committing us to REALLY giving him a SHORT hair cut. Instead, I just clipped a few more bits from his bangs, leaving him a nice little wedge cut out right in the front. He wanted more, but I again told him the 'ears' would have to come off, and he finally decided he'd had enough hair cutting for one day. He took the smock off, and was ready to leave then.

Habeeb, Sly, and I are still in total SHOCK at Jman's adventures in the barber shop today! We're going to have to find out when the awesome barber lady is working again, and take Jman back and see what he does next time. Who knows--maybe someday the boy will actually get a REAL haircut! Wouldn't that be something?!?!

PS--Jman was having fun looking at his iPod/ProLoQuo2Go which he had turned on under the barber's smock. I suppose it was neat how the lit up screen showed through the smock. He really likes having his 'words' (though he still tries to take my iPod with the youtube not restricted!).

Self talk and “I don’t like it no”

Two little quick ProLoQuo2Go stories for you from this evening. First, I overheard Jman doing some ‘self talk’ or ‘self narration’ on his ProLoQuo2Go this evening as he was getting a glass of water from the fridge. I don’t know exactly what he was punching in, but I definitely heard “drink” in there.

Many people make jokes about people who ‘talk to themselves,’ but in reality, ‘self talk’ or ‘self narration’ is an important developmental milestone. First we learn to listen to what others have to say, such as when mothers talk their babies or children through certain activities as the more experienced guide. Later those children will follow that model and talk themselves through activities, learning to ‘think like the guide’ even when the guide isn’t there doing the teaching anymore. Eventually the child learns to think and guide himself for many activities. If you watch little kids at play, you can see and hear them talking themselves through things out loud. As they grow even older, the self-talk becomes ‘in their heads’ and you don’t hear it any more (but it’s still going on). Even grown ups, when they are particularly challenged with some activity, will revert back to ‘talking to themselves’ out loud.

So, all that to say that Jman the other day was doing some ‘narration’ with the ProLoQuo2Go when we were going to brush his teeth. This evening he was self-narrating/self-talking himself through getting a drink. It’s a fascinating developmental step to see appearing (or maybe I should say to ‘hear’ appearing!).

Second story: Tonight Jman made his first spontaneous experience sharing/perspective sharing comment to me, unsolicited, using his ProLoQuo2Go, AND it was an expansion of language on a statement/request he had made previously, so there were TWO huge accomplishments all tied up in one little comment.

What happened was that Sly and I were going to go for a walk after cleaning up from dinner. I went to invite Jman to join us. He loves going for walks with us in the evening. I punched into his ProLoQuo2Go, “Let’s go to walk.” He took the ProLoQuo2Go and punched in, “Good night. Let’s go to bed.” He was in the middle of drawing a picture while in his bed, and apparently didn’t want to go. I pushed it and answered using the ProLoQuo2Go, “I want to go walk.” He took back the ProLoQuo2Go and punched in, “I don’t like it no” followed by, “Good night. Let’s go to bed!”

Note 1: He added an exclamation point to the second message just to make sure I understood! He likes to do that when he writes, but it's new for him to use it on ProLoQuo2Go, and he only used it on the second statement, not the original, so it was a dynamic use instead of a rote use.
Note 2: He didn’t reply using the same language structure that I did (I want ___) but instead used a different language structure (I don't like it no) to express his feelings. That is the first time that he has spontaneously initiated a ‘perspective’ comment without solicitation using the P2G, and the first time he has expanded his previous comment in such a way (sharing his perspective with new language altogether and then reiterating his request). That is SO cool!

Teamwork!

Today was a lovely day for stringing up Christmas lights! Habeeb was eager to get to work, and I reminded him to include Jman as much as possible. Jman had been asking for the computer (go figure!), but as soon as I told him that dad was going to get down the 'red boxes' he dropped the computer idea in a flash and was out in the garage ready to get the lights down out of the attic.

Habeeb and Jman worked together to get the lights up along the front of the house. Each had a ladder, each had a job, and each kept a "good enough" eye on what the other was up to. SB3 also wanted to get in on the action! He kept trying to climb the ladders, especially "Jman's ladder." I did some quick problem solving and got him an "SB3 ladder"--the step stool. He thought he was big stuff then, just like Habeeb and Brother Jman!

Jman did fantastic 95% of the time he and Habeeb were working. He helped pass up clips to Habeeb (along with a saw and pruning shears for a quick tree limb fix). He moved his ladder when Habeeb moved his. He knew when to run back inside and grab another string of lights without having to be asked. He even kept a bit of a watchful eye on SB3, particularly with regards to the ladders.

Jman did have one major issue, though. He and Habeeb started from the garage corner of the house going towards the middle of the front. When that string was done, Habeeb went to the other corner of the house to again work towards the middle. That's when Jman freaked out. We couldn't figure out what his problem was, but he was seriously freaking out, including flailing and throwing himself on the ground. We weren't sure what his problem was, but I speculated that it might have something to do with switching to the other corner and going in the opposite direction. He did eventually get over it, and got back to being a good helper for Habeeb. When they finished that string and went back to the end of the first strung string, Jman again began to flip out, and that's when we both agreed that yes, it was the transition from one location/direction to the other location/direction that was throwing Jman for a loop.

Now, what we don't know is if it was because he was confused and didn't understand why we were doing what we were doing OR if it was some kind of OCD type thing where even though he may have understood, it just FELT wrong and wigged him out for a while. In either case, he got over his second flail-ex much more quickly than the first, and he and Habeeb finished stringing the roof line. They do still have the front door to string up, and Jman's bedroom, and whatever else Habeeb decides to string up in the house. (Actually, Jman has strung up the hallway bathroom, and is stringing up his bunk bed in lights as I type!)

A ProLoQuo2Go note: While Jman was NOT using the ProLoQuo2Go to communicate during today's festivities, he DID say at one point, "I need help." He had switched roles with Habeeb and was trying to attach a clip to the roof, and was having a bit of difficulty with a particular shingle, and so he told Habeeb he needed help quite calmly. He had a few other P2G-esque moments today as well, but it was mostly means-to-an-end and not experience sharing. Today's most common line (even prior to lights going up) was "Let's go to snow." He loves snow!

A few take home points for anyone doing RDI/Guided Participation with a kid on the spectrum: 1) No one's perfect. There are lots of flaws we make, both us and the kids. Just move on. 2) Think through what you want to do before you try to guide your kid through the activity. Habeeb had a plan for how to string the lights, and he has experience from stringing them in the past. It's much harder to guide your kid when you don't know what you're doing! 3) Don't expect your kid to be excited about an activity just because it excites you. In this case, stringing lights was an activity that really does excite Jman. He'd have been far less interested in helping us do other mundane chores. That doesn't mean you only do things that they find exciting, but do be aware that you may have a more willing apprentice when you have a "mutually meaningful project" rather than a project that one or the other person isn't really into. 4) Whatever your project, make sure the roles of the people are both clearly defined and are 'legitimate' roles. Don't assign a role that is either beneath the other person OR that is overwhelming to the other person. Do assign roles that have legitimate value, that are respectful of the other person as a person, that are in someone's Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD). Remember, work in the ZPD is work that someone can't necessarily do alone but can do with proper guidance. It should be just challenging enough without being too challenging. 5) Slow down. Give the person time to think and respond and solve their own problems.