Teamwork!

Today was a lovely day for stringing up Christmas lights! Habeeb was eager to get to work, and I reminded him to include Jman as much as possible. Jman had been asking for the computer (go figure!), but as soon as I told him that dad was going to get down the 'red boxes' he dropped the computer idea in a flash and was out in the garage ready to get the lights down out of the attic.

Habeeb and Jman worked together to get the lights up along the front of the house. Each had a ladder, each had a job, and each kept a "good enough" eye on what the other was up to. SB3 also wanted to get in on the action! He kept trying to climb the ladders, especially "Jman's ladder." I did some quick problem solving and got him an "SB3 ladder"--the step stool. He thought he was big stuff then, just like Habeeb and Brother Jman!

Jman did fantastic 95% of the time he and Habeeb were working. He helped pass up clips to Habeeb (along with a saw and pruning shears for a quick tree limb fix). He moved his ladder when Habeeb moved his. He knew when to run back inside and grab another string of lights without having to be asked. He even kept a bit of a watchful eye on SB3, particularly with regards to the ladders.

Jman did have one major issue, though. He and Habeeb started from the garage corner of the house going towards the middle of the front. When that string was done, Habeeb went to the other corner of the house to again work towards the middle. That's when Jman freaked out. We couldn't figure out what his problem was, but he was seriously freaking out, including flailing and throwing himself on the ground. We weren't sure what his problem was, but I speculated that it might have something to do with switching to the other corner and going in the opposite direction. He did eventually get over it, and got back to being a good helper for Habeeb. When they finished that string and went back to the end of the first strung string, Jman again began to flip out, and that's when we both agreed that yes, it was the transition from one location/direction to the other location/direction that was throwing Jman for a loop.

Now, what we don't know is if it was because he was confused and didn't understand why we were doing what we were doing OR if it was some kind of OCD type thing where even though he may have understood, it just FELT wrong and wigged him out for a while. In either case, he got over his second flail-ex much more quickly than the first, and he and Habeeb finished stringing the roof line. They do still have the front door to string up, and Jman's bedroom, and whatever else Habeeb decides to string up in the house. (Actually, Jman has strung up the hallway bathroom, and is stringing up his bunk bed in lights as I type!)

A ProLoQuo2Go note: While Jman was NOT using the ProLoQuo2Go to communicate during today's festivities, he DID say at one point, "I need help." He had switched roles with Habeeb and was trying to attach a clip to the roof, and was having a bit of difficulty with a particular shingle, and so he told Habeeb he needed help quite calmly. He had a few other P2G-esque moments today as well, but it was mostly means-to-an-end and not experience sharing. Today's most common line (even prior to lights going up) was "Let's go to snow." He loves snow!

A few take home points for anyone doing RDI/Guided Participation with a kid on the spectrum: 1) No one's perfect. There are lots of flaws we make, both us and the kids. Just move on. 2) Think through what you want to do before you try to guide your kid through the activity. Habeeb had a plan for how to string the lights, and he has experience from stringing them in the past. It's much harder to guide your kid when you don't know what you're doing! 3) Don't expect your kid to be excited about an activity just because it excites you. In this case, stringing lights was an activity that really does excite Jman. He'd have been far less interested in helping us do other mundane chores. That doesn't mean you only do things that they find exciting, but do be aware that you may have a more willing apprentice when you have a "mutually meaningful project" rather than a project that one or the other person isn't really into. 4) Whatever your project, make sure the roles of the people are both clearly defined and are 'legitimate' roles. Don't assign a role that is either beneath the other person OR that is overwhelming to the other person. Do assign roles that have legitimate value, that are respectful of the other person as a person, that are in someone's Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD). Remember, work in the ZPD is work that someone can't necessarily do alone but can do with proper guidance. It should be just challenging enough without being too challenging. 5) Slow down. Give the person time to think and respond and solve their own problems.