Today when we picked Sly and a friend up from Starbase, Jman went exploring through some of the facilities. He went into the flight simulators classroom, hoping to get into the computers, I'm sure. After being shooed away from those by Habeeb, Jman decided to check out the jet cockpit in the center of the room. Brother Sly started to shoo him away from that too, but the Director of Starbase was there and asked Sly if he saw any "Do Not Touch" signs on the cockpit. The answer of course was No, and the Director said it's a good thing to explore your environment! So Sly backed off and Jman climbed into the pilot's seat!
The Director was very patient and encouraging with Jman. He was doing a great job of trying to provide Jman opportunities without being too pushy or going too fast. He offered Jman his old flight helmet to put on, and Jman was interested in that. The funny part was that it was actually a little small--Jman has a big head (just like his daddy!). But with some help Jman got the helmet on. Then the Director was going to show him how to lower the dark visor. Habeeb wasn't too sure Jman would like that, but I said he probably would. He does like to steal our sunglasses and wear them sometimes. So, the Director went ahead and showed Jman how to lower the visor. Jman liked it, but then was a little overwhelmed and wanted the helmet off. No problem--off it came and Jman was allowed to just sit in the cockpit and push buttons again. No pressure.
However, it was probably less than a minute and Jman decided he wanted the helmet back again. He was ready for more! It's amazing how when you slow things down and relax and let the kid feel safe, they'll be ready faster for more. Slower is faster, less is more! Back went on the helmet (again with help, because it really didn't fit), and down went the visor. Jman was cool stuff! Pilot Jman then resumed exploring the cockpit, dressed in style! After a few more minutes, he decided the helmet really was uncomfortable and took it back off. Oh, if only they'd had one for a bigger head!
During this time of going slow and following Jman's pacing, the Director was also offering additional info and answering questions that Sly and his friend were asking, and sharing stories of his own from his Air Force days. This was not only great for Sly and K but also contributed to Jman's being relaxed. He knew that we were right there for him, but that we weren't focused solely on him. Again, he had his own 'mental space' to study and process what he was experiencing.
The most encouraging thing about the whole experience was just how the Director respected and interacted with Jman. It's really rare, unfortunately, to find someone who can naturally scaffold and respectfully interact with someone with autism. Don't get me wrong--there's lots and lots and lots of folks out there who mean well! But it's a rare thing to find someone who both means well and DOES well! It was a real joy to see Jman made to feel welcome and comfortable, supported and encouraged, and allowed to be himself without just ignoring him or leaving him alone to himself. It was a fabulous experience for ME in addition to Jman, and it gave me a great insight into how awesome Starbase is on the people level. (Btw, this was the same guy barking out instructions and managing the class of kids during the rocket launch like a DI from boot camp! What a beautiful thing to encounter someone that knows just how to guide and how to adjust depending on the people and the scenario! That's just not something you run into everyday!)
Today when we picked Sly and a friend up from Starbase, Jman went exploring through some of the facilities. He went into the flight simulators classroom, hoping to get into the computers, I'm sure. After being shooed away from those by Habeeb, Jman decided to check out the jet cockpit in the center of the room. Brother Sly started to shoo him away from that too, but the Director of Starbase was there and asked Sly if he saw any "Do Not Touch" signs on the cockpit. The answer of course was No, and the Director said it's a good thing to explore your environment! So Sly backed off and Jman climbed into the pilot's seat!
The Director was very patient and encouraging with Jman. He was doing a great job of trying to provide Jman opportunities without being too pushy or going too fast. He offered Jman his old flight helmet to put on, and Jman was interested in that. The funny part was that it was actually a little small--Jman has a big head (just like his daddy!). But with some help Jman got the helmet on. Then the Director was going to show him how to lower the dark visor. Habeeb wasn't too sure Jman would like that, but I said he probably would. He does like to steal our sunglasses and wear them sometimes. So, the Director went ahead and showed Jman how to lower the visor. Jman liked it, but then was a little overwhelmed and wanted the helmet off. No problem--off it came and Jman was allowed to just sit in the cockpit and push buttons again. No pressure.
However, it was probably less than a minute and Jman decided he wanted the helmet back again. He was ready for more! It's amazing how when you slow things down and relax and let the kid feel safe, they'll be ready faster for more. Slower is faster, less is more! Back went on the helmet (again with help, because it really didn't fit), and down went the visor. Jman was cool stuff! Pilot Jman then resumed exploring the cockpit, dressed in style! After a few more minutes, he decided the helmet really was uncomfortable and took it back off. Oh, if only they'd had one for a bigger head!
During this time of going slow and following Jman's pacing, the Director was also offering additional info and answering questions that Sly and his friend were asking, and sharing stories of his own from his Air Force days. This was not only great for Sly and K but also contributed to Jman's being relaxed. He knew that we were right there for him, but that we weren't focused solely on him. Again, he had his own 'mental space' to study and process what he was experiencing.
The most encouraging thing about the whole experience was just how the Director respected and interacted with Jman. It's really rare, unfortunately, to find someone who can naturally scaffold and respectfully interact with someone with autism. Don't get me wrong--there's lots and lots and lots of folks out there who mean well! But it's a rare thing to find someone who both means well and DOES well! It was a real joy to see Jman made to feel welcome and comfortable, supported and encouraged, and allowed to be himself without just ignoring him or leaving him alone to himself. It was a fabulous experience for ME in addition to Jman, and it gave me a great insight into how awesome Starbase is on the people level. (Btw, this was the same guy barking out instructions and managing the class of kids during the rocket launch like a DI from boot camp! What a beautiful thing to encounter someone that knows just how to guide and how to adjust depending on the people and the scenario! That's just not something you run into everyday!)
How wonderful it is to find a kindred spirit who GETS guided participation without being told!
ReplyDeleteI love what you wrote here--what a GREAT quote:
"Slower is faster, less is more!"